If Only Tears Could Bring You Back To Me
by Hitsuzen Nakagauchi
Summary: Seven years later. One final lookback to the past. Time to move on. But is it really had to happen? Light Drama. I hope you read this with your full heart.


Sasuke's taking his leave. There's no more reason to stay. He thought about it for sure, that's why he came up with a certain decision. There is no turning back. And along with his departure comes the hardest choice of leaving everything behind. Even the one girl he loves the most.

"Leaving Konoha without a word?" Reiku's authoritative voice stops him dead on his track. After turning, Sasuke saw those ebony eyes, blankly staring at him. But like his made decision, he stood firm on his ground, "It's none of your concern," he snaps back harshly.

"But of course," her voice stiffly controlled, with a little tone of sadness spilling, betraying her.

"Don't ever think of stopping me..." he then turned his back on her, avoiding further possible distractions from her beautiful face. She heaved a sigh and turned on her back as well, "No worries. You can leave as you desire. Have a safe journey then. Pray that time won't let us meet. Farewell..." The very last words she managed to say, after he made it clear to her that he is cutting her out of his life.

He already made a choice and that compels her to do the same.

That was seven years ago...

------------------------

He slowly open his eyes, the whiteness of his room's ceiling causing them to squint. "Darn, nights these days seems so consumable than before." He muttered under his breath. Is has been six months hence since he became a Jounin. That most of his times are spent outside Konoha. And staying for a maximum of three days can be considered comforting. Now that his short vacation is up, he has to go and make a report back to the Godaime Hokage's office in an instant.

"Ei sleepy head! Wake up!" Its Naruto, bellowing from below with his ever exurbant voice.

Sasuke stood from the bed and frowned, "Just get inside you big mouth!" shouting back from the window.

He grab a shirt from his closet and went out. As he descend the stair, he could hear Naruto propping his self already in the kitchen. He smooth a hand on his forehead and took a seat on the dining hall. Naruto came out with two mugs of something steamy. Even though he hates to admit it, he feels sometimes thankful for having Naruto around.

'What a drunk idiot you were last night."

"I was?" The mug freeze midway, Sasuke shooting Naruto a puzzled look.

Naruto shrugged off the look and continued. "Of course you are dumdum. You were saying things. If I didn't know you that much, I might think you're an impostor." He finishes with a soft chuckle.

"Really?" he countered sarcastically.

"But you are. You were even itching for a fight. Luckily, Neji was there to stop you and Rock Lee from engaging in a senseless, drunkard fight."

That explains the headache he had when he woke up. He couldn't remember anything about last night. Except the other jounins agreed that they should drink before going home. And even though he persistently declined, they dragged him all the way to the inn. After a few drinks, he couldn't remember anything else.

"Anyways, fix yourself with something. I'll take a bath."

"Don't mind if I do."

He went straight to his room and leaned his back against the closed door. Sasuke couldn't help but to think that now he is twenty and a jounin, he has all the things he asked for. But amidst of those, he couldn't help but to feel sad and empty. He used to smile a lot lately, yes. But it doesn't mean that he is happy. He is not. Not at all. _Reiku...Is it really true that the heart never forgets?_

An old picture on the deck caught his attention. A worn out memory he can't seem to throw away. He misses her badly, that's why he still keeps that one simple fragment of those memories he has of her. He is not exactly the type of person who inclines on reminiscing...but whenever there's a moment, even if its accidental, he couldn't stop to think of what might have possibly been if they are put on an entirely different situation.

Reiku is a girl very different from anyone else. She was lonely, always away from the others. She would always prefer to be alone, not speaking or even reacting. She will just sit or stand there like a statue. Most of the kids would make fun of her, still, she wouldn't even bother to fight back. He would just always be from not far away. He would just stare at her with worry in his eyes. He would just always go on a check whether what she's doing or if she's doing just fine.

_She never smiles, I got so afraid that she couldn't feel anything anymore...maybe because of the insisting of how I badly wanted to be her friend..._ His face contorts into a smile of amusement remembering those silly, little fears he has for her. He feel so embarrassed even to remember that one. But, embarrassed or whatever, there's only one certain thing he couldn't rid out of his system. That he is badly missing her.

------------------------

Inside the Hokage's office.

"You're first mission is to escort our land owner to Kumogakure. Then from there, you're second mission is to run an errand for a wealthy lady who had ask for our expertise at Yukigakure."

Inspite of the Hokage's clear briefings, Sasuke is obviously not listening since his eyes are gazing at the vast scenery before him. He used to be with her this time of the day. Watching the birds flying across, the clouds wandering aimlessly while the sun is at its finest. But, he knows that it was already a long time ago. Today is different. No her beside him. Just a memory that he couldn't forget.

"Could you get down from there, please?" a stern voice hovered over his cloud of thoughts. Naruto elbowed him, pulling him back to the ground. He could see Master Tsunade's stern face looking at him, with Shizune smiling apologetically behind.

"Uh, from where Hokage-sama?" he innocently ask, causing both Naruto and Sakura to blink.

''From the clouds! Where your head has been! What's gotten into you? I think you're falling asleep with your eyes open and your feet on the ground!"

"Ah, ok. Sorry about that," he apologized nonchalantly.

And when done repeating the agenda of the mission, Tsunade ask Sasuke to stay for awhile to have a little talk. Its not her station to interfere but she wouldn't put it aside especially if its affecting one of her ninjas. Its an old issue to retalk about, as a matter of fact. But maybe it is something that she might use to give him a little push on what he has to do.

"What's wrong with you? The entire team has noticed your distraction. You may not be absent, but you've clearly becoming absent-minded Uchiha."

"I'm sorry," he manages to reply. He knows that there is no proper excuse on his recent behavior. But every time he comes back in Konoha, he couldn't help but to sleep on his feet with his eyes open.

Tsunade sat right in front of the desk and face him with a worry face. "I know what you feel, and I can't blame you for being so distracted. You are now a Jounin, Sasuke-kun. And I want you to know that there are times we, ninjas are ought to put _our_ feelings aside. Especially when we are in the middle of the battlefield."

He remained silent. Maybe coming back to Konoha is a bad choice. Because everywhere he looks, her memories follows. In the Uchiha compound. In his house. Even in his room. That every time he wakes up, he could strongly feel her as if she's just there. Not leaving, sitting there beside him while watching him sleep. Joining him having a tea in the nearby table. Standing along with him at the balcony, arms propped on the metal bars like she always do. Those little gestures she always brings with her and unceremoniously left behind.

"I hate to say this, but you know that the very idea of her coming back is no longer possible," she softly spoke, ending their discussion.

He is aware of that. And he felt fully responsible for it and guilty at the same time. He bowed and left the room. Outside while facing the stone faces, the view of Konoha vibrantly welcomes his tired, sad eyes. Sasuke knew that her brief, romantical relationship with him left her a deep and painful scar. A scar that no matter how painful it was, he can tell how she swallowed it without even spitting it out. Without complaining and instead, with a smile.

'Sasuke, we're ready! Get down from there, will ya?'

He has to make atonements. To her. And for his self.

------------------------

Inside the carriage, Naruto is busy arguing with both Gamakichi and Gamatatsu. Sakura's busy laughing while watching the summoned creatures, making their best in annoying their master to the limit. They had indeed change in the past seven years. Especially him, Uchiha Sasuke. Well maybe Naruto is an exception, since he seems to retain his being chatterbox. Honestly, he is another case to consider.

While watching Naruto childishly argue with his frogs, Sasuke wonders back at the same question he always asked his self, "What kind of a ninja would you be like if you are still alive...Reiku?" He closed his eyes and wanders back to the time where everything seems to be simple and just normal.

_Kids, everything about being a good ninja depends upon your choice. Choices that are vital ingredients on what ninja you will become. Remember that always._

Reiku finishes after giving a small, significant lecture to the younger academy students. She doesn't look like that quiet girl she is in his more younger years. Now, he and everyone could see those small smiles and smirks that frequently slips out of her face. Its like they are taking their steps, one by one. His focus remained on her face, when her eyes strayed on the door. She flashed a smile and a bow on his direction. Her class noticed the exchange and began teasing her. She blushed. He did too.

_Reiku nee-san, does having someone dear to you is also a choice a ninja must have? Just like you and Sasuke nii-san now?_

She was clearly taken aback from that sudden question, her face still glowing with a thousand shades of reds and pinks. Sasuke smirks, trying to hide his own flushed face.

_Kids, its not good to ask such questions. It mind offend you're Sasuke nii-san or anyone in random._

_But please Reiku nee-san!! We want to know!_

_But...!_

_Please?!_

_Okay...well the answer is yes. And..._

_And?_

_Oh that would be enough kids._

_Aww!_

_You will understand when you grow up a little more. Besides, I am still not that old to answer such question. All I know is sometimes, feelings like this becomes a part of us, no matter what. Whether they are choices to be made or not. Just like me and your Sasuke nii-san._

With her blushing and their constant teasing, everyone broke into laughters. She surely changed a lot, she took the choices that makes her happy. And he felt the same bliss to see and to know that she's affecting him so much. Just like Naruto. Just like the rest of his friends.

"Ei, I saw that! What are you smiling at? What is that all about?" Naruto glowers, breaking through his reverie. Glaring at him, obviously demanding an explanation.

Sasuke shakes his head and kept his silence that leaves Naruto ranting. And before they could even reach their destination, it rained suddenly. It made Naruto smiles, Sakura slightly shivering and him smug. Because he hates rain and everything about it.

"Great, a good time to have some very good, tasty Kumo ramen!" Naruto piped in, punching his fists into the air.

"You are one impossible person Naruto. You think of nothing else but to eat." Sasuke interjected, making Sakura giggle.

"Thank you. I take that as a compliment." The bubbly mischief replied with a huge grin on his face. Sasuke frowns, ignoring Naruto and his silliness.

"Still missing her Sasuke-kun?" It's Sakura, trying to change the subject before both of them end up strangling each other's neck. He gave her a simple nod without taking his eyes away from the carriage window.

"Wowthat's a surprising development. Just when I thought love and Uchiha Sasuke doesn't come together."

That makes the three of them laugh so hard that Kumogakure is coming more up close than they had expected. The three of them gazed outside the window carriage to see the towering landmark of the village, despite the mist the hard rain is creating.

_The reason why I hate rain is because the rain reminds me so much of Reiku. Of her dancing underneath the heavy rain. Of her laughters muffled by the sound of the rain against the ground. Of herself, hugging the rain with her arms, letting the raindrops smash against her pale skin...that every time it rains, I couldn't help but to be hallucinated by the illusion of seeing her underneath it, dancing happily like a child._

Sasuke once again closed his eyes, trying to overcome the familiar feeling of sadness in his chest.

The rain is just like those countless, unforgettable memories.

Memories.

Reminders.

------------

_"What are you doing?"_ Sasuke asked, somewhat irritatedly at her. Reiku just gave him a smile and grabs his wrist. It was raining and he frowns, realizing what she's planning to do. He shakes his head vehemently only to amuse her even more.

_"Don't worry, Suke-chan. Its just rain, it won't bite." _She whisper softly against his ear, dragging him out in the rain. She eventually let go when both of them are soaking wet.

_"We might catch cold."_ He growled. More angry to his self than to her. Because even on rainy days like this, he couldn't control his face from blushing.

_"Oh, don't be a sour sport. You're just watching and I am dancing, nothing to worry about." _

Sasuke didn't argue anymore. Being with her is the one thing he wants. Minus the dreaded rain of course. But why is complaining? Ah yes. Because she changed a lot. Both physically and emotionally. In his observation, Reiku had grown a lot more lively recently. Attractive, very attractive to be specific. She isn't the young, quiet girl he saw before. She is now slowly reacting to the world. Especially to him.

------------

As he flee back to his consciousness, he saw Naruto's face radiating a pale bitter smile. As affected as he was.

"Let's pay her a visit." Sakura suggested. Naruto and Sasuke agreed as their carriage pulled into a stop.

They quickly seek shelter at the inn's entrance. And even though it rains, many people are still in the streets...chatting, buying like there's no rain at all. "What do you suggest we tell her?" Sakura's green eyes darts from Sasuke to Naruto.

Sasuke smiles, making Naruto glare at him like he was a morsel ready to be devour. "How about we tell her that Naruto is still a gluttony?"

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny Uchiha! You know how she reprimands me about my bad habit when it comes on eating." Naruto scowls defensively, making Sakura and Sasuke laugh so hard that the people around them starts to wonder. Naruto rolled his eyes and head down to the clerk to check their selves in. Leaving Sakura busy looking out for their things while Sasuke is busy watching the raindrops falling on the ground.

"Actually, I really don't have a clue what to say to her..."

"Don't worry. I know she understands." She reassures him.

"Hey wait up you know all!"

A girl with short platinum hair cried out when she was left behind by her friend. The boy from not afar waves a hand, telling her to hurry up. She ran quickly only to trip herself. The young boy quickly runs back to her side and assessed her. This very scene reminds him of her and his own self when they were still young.

"She looks like Reiku."

"Yeah, even shouts like her," Sasuke jokingly adds.

"That reminds me, what flower should we bring for her?"

"Flower?" Sasuke repeated the word as if it is something he is ignorant of.

Naruto called them from behind. Sakura abruptly pick some of their things and turn her gaze back to him.

"Anyways, try the rose."

'What?'

"The rose. She loves roses."

He nods, still standing at the entrance...his eyes fix on the towering fortress of the village's palace. _Men, even though I live a hundred, its impossible for me to understand all of you... _He heard Sakura muttered while approaching Naruto on the front desk.

Sasuke suddenly remember the crazy proposal he made to a very beautiful girl back in Otogakure a long time ago. He made his self believe that by doing that, he can start a relationship without a commitment. That there will come a time that he will find someone whom he can leave without even asking him where he's going or when will he would possibly come back.

-----------

**Six years ago...Sasuke's marriage proposal.**

_Yes, I am accepting your proposal._

That was her answer after he ask her hand for marriage in time to come. Sasuke even proposed to her of what kind of set-up they would possibly have in the future. The girl just gave him her approval and ask nothing more from him. Though she possibly knows that he is asking her to be more of someone who would just be there when he comes back...and not someone whom he will share his lifetime with. Definitely not someone whom he'll love, trust with and grow old with. It was like more of a business proposal. And she said yes. No questions asked. Period.

While watching Sasuke in his most pensive mood, Naruto plunked on the nearby couch, scratching his head and yawning at the same time.

'Do you think he's ready for this Sakura?' Naruto lazily asked while Sakura let out an exasperated sigh and joined him on the couch. "No, I don't know. I wish I knew Naruto." She answered softly.

"That reminds me, do you remember the time when Reiku told us that she's accepting a marriage proposal?" Sakura suddenly asked.

"Whatever did she had thought that time, I don't want to know." Naruto scowled.

-----------

**Five years ago...Reiku, accepting the marriage proposal.**

"What?" Naruto nearly jump up from his chair and glares straight to Reiku.

"I said, I am going to accept the marriage proposal I received a couple of months ago." Reiku calmly replied, dismissing Naruto's glares.

"Are you crazy?!"

"I am not going to marry him yet Naruto. After all, _that_ is just an engagement. You don't have to freak out." She smiles at him, reassuring him that she is making the right decision.

"But this is insane! How about Sasuke?!"

"What about him?"

"What kind of a question is that?"

She sigh and cups his face with her hands. "Naruto, whatever happened between us is past. He is not everything so I have to move on," she calmly respond and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

"But you still care for him right?"

"No. I am not. I really don't share the feeling...you see, caring for someone has a price you must pay in return. I already payed everything I had with me. I had nothing to give." Her hands slipped out of his face, letting her arms enclose him in a motherly embrace. "This is _what_ I should do."

Naruto shakes his head and stood up. Just remembering that stupid marriage proposal grits his teeth in frustration. Sakura watches Sasuke from where she's sitting and sigh. She had wanted Sasuke before. And it would be plain hypocrisy if she would say she doesn't anymore. She still do. Since all her life, she doesn't want anything but Sasuke. His attention. His concerns. His love. Unfortunately, Sasuke didn't even consider her anything more special than a friend. An important friend. Instead, his eyes had already chosen it's object. Not her. Not even Ino. But someone.

"I'm worry about him Naruto."

"Yup, me too. But let him be this time. He is no longer young Sakura, he could make it out, all he have to do is face it."

"And what's that supposed to mean? Sakura ask out of curiosity.

"There is something about us that you would not understand. When we love one deeply, it stays deep. When we feel something real special for someone, it stays special. I don't know why. Its just us. One nature we couldn't deny to anyone, not even to ourselves." Naruto walks away from her, leaving her still staring at Sasuke's back.

They all grew up even more stronger, more powerful and even more wiser. But, inspite of these positive outcomes, each one of them still has fragments of emotional torture hidden inside. Just like Sakura who lost her present love to another girl, then there's Naruto who lost a relationship he sacredly kept for so many years and of course, Sasuke. He is still in the verge of not admitting the fact that everything of this happened and is still happening. That he wouldn't even want to open his eyes to the truth.

He is not alone. Every one of them. All are still in denial.

-----------------------

And after waking up from the familiar scent of the rain, Sasuke realized that Sakura and Naruto are nowhere to be found. Its as if they left so that he could go alone. He actually needed that and thankful that they had read his thought. He will visit her. But first, he has to get her some flowers.

"Good morning. What flower do you wish to buy?" The shop clerk asked with a smile on her face.

"Ah, yes. Give me a rose please," Sasuke politely answered.

"Would it be a bouquet or in pieces?"

He stare back in puzzlement, making the florist smile. She gently show him what she meant, allowing him to choose. "Sorry, I really don't have that idea about flowers," his face broke into embarrassment. "Its alright," the florist replied.

After paying for the flowers, he left the shop in a huff. With the bunch of roses carefully embraced by his strong arms. No wonder why she loves them...they are beautiful and enticing but very dangerous.

_I have my reasons why I want the three of you to go to Kumogakure. And its rather personal. So ask no more questions. When you get there, you'll find the answers to yourselves._ Back then, Naruto's jaw almost hits the floor, Sakura confused and him rather anxious. But now, he knows what are those reasons are. And he's very thankful about it. Their current Hokage is one heck of a person, just like the late Sandaime Hokage.

------------------------

The place is peaceful...very quiet, like he's in a dream. Butterflies are busy from one flower to another. Squirrels running, chasing each other and playing. White rabbits eying him with such curious eyes. The waterfall rages softly, like tears behind the big trees rooted deeply at the edge of the cliff. Flowers blooming surrounding the very place.

"Okaerinasai, Sasuke..."

Sasuke thought she heard her voice as he turned around. But no one's there. Just him. And a grave. With her name engraved on it. He suppressed a sigh. He placed the roses on the vase and offered a silent prayer. When done, he sits down and stare at the grave like he is seeing her in front of him. Alive. Gazing at him. Smiling. Watching him. Anything she usually does when she was still alive.

"Tadaima, Reiku," is all he could barely whisper, hiding the tears escaping from his eyes...fighting the building lump on his throat. As he prop his face against his folded arms, his eyes caught the glimpse of the ring on his right ring finger. The ring he kept for seven, long years. The ring that's keeping him between holding on and moving on.

_She asked me to let the ring on her finger. She wanted to wear it until her next life, that's what she said. And she said she promised you that she will wear it when it exactly fits her finger. And she said, she finally kept her part of the promise._ The fifth Raikage informed him when he saw the same ring on Sasuke's finger, when they are summoned to the palace as part of their mission in Kumogakure. He was surprised by the news, to think that she expressed of no longer wanting to see him. Yet, behind those strong words, she remained to be the one woman he loves the most.

Eight years ago, he gave Reiku a ring...it was too big for her that time. That's why she decided to have it as a pendant on her necklace and even promised that she will definitely wear it when it exactly fits her ring finger. He did the same. It made him smile, making him feel so loved. Accepted. Make him so whole. That is why a certain Azuran Reiku has a special corner in his once reclusive and rebellious heart.

"I guess destiny and life teamed up and turned against us ne? But I guess they won't if we're placed on a very different situation...life is really unfair..." he smiles, remembering the saying "what destiny unites, life divides". On their case, both destiny and life divided them apart. And he couldn't help but to feel fully responsible for all of what's happening. If only he had made the right choice, then everything of this wouldn't happened in the first place.

He stood up to his feet, pulling the worn tail off his hair, letting it flow against the wind, embracing the sad air.

_Someday Sasuke, our journey will end. Some will end soon and some will take long to even finish their own. So if ever yours take much too long, don't fret. It simply means many good things awaits you in the future._

"I know. And its time for me to move on. And..." he turned on his heels and didn't bother to look back,"...I can't promise that I won't forget you. Reprimand me all you want the next time we meet if I do forget. And maybe by then, I could finally say I love you."

As he walks away, the farewell ends. But the regret still lingers on. And Sasuke knows that his own journey had taken a new start. But this time, no Reiku. Just his own self. And the future that awaits him.

-------------------------

"Do you think its wise to do that to him?" a man clad in white asked from behind, "I know its not," a soft voice beside him answered.

"Then why are you doing this?" his voice mixed with sarcasm and concern. "Just because. As simple as that," the figure clad in black replied flatly.

"Pride kills, _imouto._ You're no exception," he reminds his companion firmly. He took off the hood off his face and watch Sasuke's retreating figure. When gone from his eyes, he then gaze at the figure beside him. He smiles seeing his _imouto _clutching something shiny around her finger. _You're mind might tell me lies, but not the actions of your heart._

end

02.23.07

---hitsuzen nakagauchi---


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